11th October 2017

Checkmark on my progress chart

Here’s a challenge. Write about what you did today when you did, essentially, nothing. In my case, the only checkmark on the progress chart is that I intercepted the UPS man before the dog could go all neurotic on him. For the record, the parcel contained a battery to recharge a cellphone. Since I don’t use one of those (either the battery or the phone), it qualifies as a “good deed”.

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posted in humour | 0 Comments | 259 words

10th October 2017

Against an intelligent adversary, he’s hopeless

Had our first visit from a raccoon, last evening. I’m not sure if it “means” anything, but I’m worried. Unlike the coyotes that wander through, or the squirrels that are here for the seeds, the proverbial bandit of the woods is an unknown quantity. Will he sneak in if we lower our guard? The dog was on guard, but against an intelligent adversary, he’s hopeless. Offer the dog one of his own biscuits and profit from the distraction. We had the beast in the beam of my best flashlight, and he preened!

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posted in environment, humour | 0 Comments | 259 words

8th October 2017

Three times as far

“Let’s go for a walk” (she says). “It’ll be fun” (she says). “Good for us all” (she says). The dog was probably right. I should have put on the brakes, right there. Not me, though. And now there’s a polite image on social media of the dog and myself, on a leafy trail, looking like we do this sort of thing all the time.

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posted in health, humour | 0 Comments | 280 words

2nd October 2017

A nod to protocol

“It” happens, on average, once every five years. The nation gets a new titular head, appointed rather than elected. We all nod and life goes on because, really, that’s exactly what the job “is”. A nod to protocol. However, for the first time in my life, today, I watched the swearing in ceremony. Too much time on my hands or something.

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posted in humour | 0 Comments | 279 words

9th September 2017

Overflow for a quiche experiment

A strange way to mix home and church: treating me as the overflow for a quiche experiment. There’s a breakfast in the parish hall tomorrow morning (I won’t be there). The two and a bit more pans of egg delicacy are done, and I’ve finished a small one all by myself. Doing my part, etc.

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posted in food, humour, Wx | 0 Comments | 253 words

5th September 2017

Metrology is my weakness

I think I have a weakness for metrology. Unable to make an accurate measurement, so the analysis is subjective, but I can live with that. As long as I have an accurate clock, and an accurate thermometer, and accurate scales, and an accurate gas gauge, life is good.

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posted in humour, technology | 0 Comments | 262 words

30th August 2017

Proud proclamation on the box

On my own for supper. The others are off to a decent restaurant and won’t be back in time to share. I’m able to prepare the finest that my freezer has to offer: a baker’s dozen of wings (not just any wings; the box proclaims proudly that these are “Canadian Farm Raised”.)

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posted in food, humour | 0 Comments | 261 words

29th August 2017

(They) Plugged in the extension cord today

Our public utility had a big moment today; they plugged in the new extension cord, and my lights didn’t even flicker. At least, I don’t think so. I try to keep lights turned off during the day, given the price of grid electricity. 180MW, which means that there wasn’t a single cord in stock at Canny Tire that would have sufficed.

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posted in humour | 0 Comments | 255 words

28th August 2017

Distractions required

Keeping the houseful of people distracted requires a lot of (my) resources. That quarter moon with starry background? Not enough. Multiple movies on multiple screens? Barely. Without cellphones, the world would slow, wobble, halt.

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posted in humour | 0 Comments | 255 words

10th August 2017

Overview of the day

Dateline, Hamilton Ontario. The child was all set to play with the pool toy on the lawn, until it moved. No windy day trickery here; the alligator was real and it was there, albeit not in a traditional context. Animal control officials guess that it was escaped from someone’s home zoo (what else?).

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posted in humour | 0 Comments | 252 words

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