TubaOrNotTuba

Remember that commercial for a familiar candy? The one about “eat the red one last?” I knew you’d recall that little ditty. At our house, we have a creature with an acquired taste for the red ones. And the blue ones. And the whole rainbowish spectrum, it seems. On three occasions now, we’ve come home to find disembowled cardboard boxes on the carpet, with nary a wafer in view.

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The infomercial is already available, with catch phrases that evoke “Hours of fun for the whole family”. The happiest of all; the family dog. Yes, she who owns the couch has received a new toy for Christmas. Complete with wrapping paper. But there’s a downside to every story, and as I write she is on a quest. The toy has been placed in timeout; away from searching eyes and pained ears.

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When choosing the cast for your new television comedy, never underestimate the veterans.

Tonight, in a welcome break from too much baseball shock and awe (sarcasm as humour) I caught a pair of new shows that might not make it through the hard stretch in winter. Nevertheless, they were both entertaining. The first, Community, brings Chevy Chase back to the small screen, as a former lawyer who has been forced to return to school. Forget the others in the cast; Chevy is the wise old man in a world of much younger up and comers.

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The dog is in high stress mode right now. Ever since the streetlights came on, several hours ago, she’s been trying to deal with visitors (invaders), and she’s not doing well. Barking, running from window to window, dealing with timeout in the crate and the imposition of a muzzle. Not fun, says she, and if she can’t repel boarders with her voice and demeanor, what’s left?

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Just got back from being walked around the neighbourhood by the dog. I’m very impressed by an insignificant looking harness called a “walking halter”. No more tugging, or running off to visit the fences (I’m trying hard to control my behaviour in public these days). The dog and the man, in perfect harmony.

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Not everyone can welcome a pet into their home. Allergies, space, incompatible behaviour patterns; you name it, there’s a valid excuse for any situation. But let’s assume that you have decided to make the lifestyle change. You’ve weighed the pros and cons and you’re actually gone so far as to decide what species you want as a housemate. Bravo! Just don’t let the advice columns of this world bring too much into the decisional process.

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Now that various newspapers are available “online”, I have a moral obligation to read those from places where I used to live. No matter about the present, because a man delivers a paper copy each morning around about the time I start my coffee and the dog goes ballistic. Or maybe she goes into overdrive because a man delivers a paper copy, and it has nothing to do with my coffee. (More research needed on this question). Back to places where I used to live and the concerned media.

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For anyone that wants to bet on the snow depth (there are some folks that will bet on anything), today has thrown a curveball, weatherwise. At a time when temperatures are usually far below the melting point, the thermometer indicated a balmy 11C today. With the unseasonable high came fog. Lots and lots of fog. Seeing much beyond the end of one’s nose was a challenge, even with glasses.

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My family assures me that it’s an illusion, but I believe we’ve discovered the source of winter in Ontario. How else to explain snow that hasn’t halted for over a month (allegedly), and a city that no longer believes snowplows are necessary. The drivers accept that traction is only for tourists: some don’t bother with “snow tires”, since slipping around corners is easier than steering.

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How do you reward a self-sufficient dog? Our house sitter is starting to act a bit like the unruly babysitter, who never went home from an evening on guard with the growl of a hungry stomach. When you (the babysitter) were paid hard time wages amounting to fifty cents per hour, the liberties of the refrigerator seemed to be part of the deal. But what about a dog, who has suddenly discovered the virtues of the kitchen counter?

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