I’m drawn, as a moth to a flame
If only I could live in the big city, for a day. It would have to be a particular day, and I’d want to revert to a normal lifestyle by the next morning, but a wish is allowed.
This time around, it was the reminder that Clannad will appear in Montreal next September. For one evening, only. And a Thursday to make me feel even less able. You see, the idea of a mad race, halfway across the province after a day at work, is beyond my level of acceptable stress. Worse, I’d have to beat the retreat as soon as the curtain fell, in order to get home in time for the sleep before the next day of work. A curse, at times, to be so loyal to my employer.
I could book holidays, but the perceived cost of the ticket for the show then becomes an insurmountable barrier, mentally. Better that I accept with chagrin that some things are beyond my reach. It’s not that we don’t get talent onstage locally. The Moody Blues were right in front of me, last fall. I’ve been front row for the Rankins. Agreed, not many concerts for a lifetime, but I’m not meant to be in the audience of others. Maybe my turn under the spotlight is still ahead.
And so I’ll return to my own bubble, surrounded by instruments and memories. The tunes are there, whether or not there is someone more experienced in front of me. And if I want that place under the lights, I will have to accept that practice is part of the equation.
A few minutes ago, I went out to free the dog from a shrub tangle. In the snow.
