Speed before flavour
As a parent, you keep hoping there are things that won’t catch the attention of your progeny. I mean, there was even a hit song about it, offered up by Sophie Tucker: “How Ya Gonna Keep ‘Em Down On The Farm, After They’ve Seen Paree?” Pay no attention to the date the song was written. Before my time, too. The point is, education of your young depends on keeping their attention away from certain distractions. For example, when trying to inculcate proper table manners, it helps if they miss the annual Nathan’s hot dog eating contest.
I was vaguely aware that some people eat faster than others. Put it down to years in a college dining hall. But, perhaps because my table mates were trying to give an impression of good upbringing, I never saw anyone eat several dozen hot dogs, ever. Here’s a link to the most recent video (from yesterday). Obviously, mustard and ketchup weren’t required. Jackson Pollack table cloth, anyone? The sponsors of the annual contest (I believe their major source of income is weiners for the rest of us) use the press to impress (the rest of us) about how delicious their product must be. My gut feeling is that the contestants taste nothing.
My own children never raced through their meals. If anything, I could have hoped for a bit more speed. And (if my grocery receipts can be trusted), we never had to purchase any particular meal in wholesale quantities.
I’m trying to remember if we had any culinary excesses… nope, nothing. So much the better. With luck, I’ll never hear from anyone else about how my children had the table habits of a pack of ravenous wolves.
