Better ways to fly and die
Time to examine an imaginary conversation, about something that never actually happened in my life. Once, I almost jumped out of a perfectly functional airplane, but did not, and I survived to tell the tale.
Let us go back in time to a TV show that involved a cast who jumped out of airplanes, for the best of reasons. Something like Ripcord. As young boys, we were fascinated by the program, and we had official Ripcord toys. Small figurines, with a plastic parachute and static lines. Not Ripcord, because we had plastic figurines, with not actual means to pull that cord.
Remember, small boys are genetically unable to fold a short, or keep lengths of cord from devolving into a snatfest. But, we learned the best ways to fold our plastic parachute, and wrap it neatly with cord and then throw the whole thing into the air so that things would deploy. The plastic figurine did not always die.
I was a young adult, later in life, and I received an offer to go out to the military base for a real chance to skydive. Or skydie. Unclear. If things had gone differently, I could have learned about the effect of abject fear on my body.
I did not. I forget what actually happened, but the trip was cancelled. Or postponed. In any case, I did not fall out of an airplane, and my chute packing skills were never tested. I will not pursue that activity again, because I have learned that airplanes are designed to take off and land. Softly. No need to test my response to imminent death.
