Faced with a flat
I’ve figured out a new way to explain my life, in its current iteration. I have become “like the lawn tractor, in the garage”.
No intention of driving in circles, whacking the heads off the next dandelion crop. I can’t. I’ve developed a flat tire. Now, I am fully aware that a flat is temporary. My air pump is joined, providing fresh air on a regular schedule. Here’s the thing. I understand how to repair a tire, just not this one. The whole tractor is too heavy to lift. Getting the wheel free to better identify the base problem is not on my list of solutions, so short term I am pumping things up and waiting for the wheel to go flat.
A bit like my life. I have put a lot of my future on hold, aware that I cannot wander off and find my my way back home. Going on a trip is now filed under “what if?” I’m too autonomous by nature to hand over control to someone else.
We had planned a “road trip” for next weekend. The weather forecast makes that into a non-starter. Once the temperature gets into double digits, neither the dog nor I want to sit in a car, waiting for whatever to happen. Side note. The car now has summer tires. No flats.
Back to my lawn tractor model. Once the need to drive in circles is a requrement, I’m going to let someone else have the fun. And I’m going to remain cluse by with the air pump. My ingredient in a home made solution. Not going to announce proactivity, when the problem is clearly beyond my abilities. Kneeling on the lawn, with a pair of scissors? Hardly.
