Do you see the Windows key?
The real key to having fun with certain individuals is to remain patient. Today, another call, from an unknown phone number: 000-000-0000 (catchy, but impractical). On the line, an agent from “Miccrosoft Computer Security Service”, anxious to help me; it seems that my system may have been hacked. Other people are using my IP address. And to make sure I understood the gravity of the situation: “Do you know what is an IP address?” Believe me, this is not a test.
I agreed that this could have serious repercussions, and that I should go to my computer keyboard, forthwith. And now the fun starts…
“Do you see the Windows key?” Not sure; what does it look like? “It has four white squares“. Nope, sorry, don’t have one of those. This followed with my enumerating the keys on the bottom row. Ctrl, Fn, Alt, spacebar. “No key with four squares?” Nope, sorry. We played this game for a few more minutes, until my call was taken by a “supervisor”.
I added that I also had keys marked with Z, X, C, etc. However, the mysterious white squares key was nowhere in sight. I asked if they couldn’t already see my computer. Or just go ahead and hack into it, since my system was already compromised. No…
And then it came to me (??). That key! The one I removed with a screwdriver, several months ago, because I didn’t have any idea how it might be useful.
A moment of silence. Then, the final question: “Do you see a hole where that key used to be?” Why, yes, I do. “Then I hope you fall in that hole and die, you f#%!n Bastar*“, followed by a dial tone.
