TubaOrNotTuba

An ad on TV this evening caught my eye (that’s what it was supposed to do) and then took me down the “What If?” pathway. The advertiser: our national passenger rail corporation. The idea: that I come and ride the train, on an adventure through beautiful scenery, in comfortable, “worry free” seating, just because I can. I’m easily distracted by the idea; after all, I have something like 32 trips on The Ocean under my belt.

Truth be told, my belt is larger now, because those trips date back more than two decades (a lifetime ago). I still remember the “comfort” of a daynighter seat, next to a snoring stranger, in temperatures that often plummeted to a point where even the beer froze. I was young, and hearty, and poor. Train travel fit my lifestyle and my budget. Could times have changed?

Well, sticker shock doesn’t apply to new cars and refrigerators alone. The viarail.ca website was ready to help me plan my “trip of a lifetime” once I found dates that weren’t already sold out, and I had digested the new vocabulary for seats that don’t quite fit my frame. So, here we go. Scenarios for a summer holiday, if I leave the rest of the family behind. Remember, sticker shock is in the eye of the beholder. Your mileage may vary.

Trains were the only way to travel when my mother was born. Sure, there were planes, but they weren’t going “from here to there”. Jump forward to my youth, and there were still planes; I took one (once) when the national rail system had some labour-management issues at the date when I was supposed to return to university. Let’s get back on track…

I envisioned two different (one way) trips. If I’m going away, I’m going away. Trip number one, from Quebec City to Halifax. A route that I know “like the back of my hand” because the right-of-way hasn’t changed in over a century. Only the locomotive…

A coach seat, on the 28th of July, would cost me $117.39, and if I upped the comfort zone from “comfort fare” to double bedroom (who would I have to share it with, I wonder?) the new price would be $433.44 including taxes and limited to a warm water diet. The comparative air fare stand at about $363 plus a slew of taxes and a shuttle bus ticket to get me into the city. The best deal is clearly a seat in the poor man’s coach. Great scenery, if I have a full moon (I wouldn’t)

Now for the long haul alternative: let’s head out west, on our vacation, and see the Rockies. All the way to the “left coast”, which has never met me. Remember, this is the warm water diet, so I can expect to notch in my belt after several days of lakes, plains and mountains. We’re bound from Quebec to Vancouver, with a full iPod and a charger.

A coach seat, on the 30th of July (because the 28th was already full) would cost me $872.52, and if I upped the comfort zone from “comfort fare” to double bedroom (three night in a coach seat would be almost an Olympic event) the new price would be $3425.76 including taxes. The comparative air fare stand at about $459 plus a slew of taxes and a shuttle bus ticket to get me into the city. With savings like that, who cares about the taxes. I will take off my shoes if your choose. The best deal is clearly a seat in the airplane thingie. Great scenery, if clouds are your thing. I could throw in three really great nights at a top hotel and still have enough change for a fancy coffee.

So what’s going on here? Obviously the Via Rail crowd no longer needs the great unwashed masses. Somehow, I see a trainful of Kodak-happy tourists from another continent, waving to every moose and bear in sight. No low budget locals need apply. There’s been a lot of “wishing” for a high speed rail line between Quebec and Windsor (meaning Toronto), and I don’t see a reduction in applicable fares as a result of taxpayer investment. The “way of the worry free” has changed its aim, and I’m no longer the preferred customer. TV ads to the contrary. Once again, vacation will be in a car, with a family, on familiar roads. Look for me in a few months time.