An invitation to dialogue
Dear Dog. Please consider this letter as an invitation to dialogue. We’ve got certain issues that remain unresolved; I’ll try to maintain a polite tone, in keeping with our long term agreement to share space.
The bed. Although you’ve decided that you will participate in the “keep the others warm” model of winter living, I need to point out that you are not entitled to more than half of the available area, on or under the covers. At best, you can hope for a third. Please try not to claw your way out of this one.
The decision to wake me before sunrise, with a cold nose poke, is acceptable. However, don’t expect me to accompany you outside, particularly now that the temperature is below my comfort point. This is not a spectator sport, for you or me. Please go off to wherever you feel most at ease, and you don’t need to retrieve the bird feeder on the way back, regardless of your “ancestry”.
The hair loss (on your part) is out of control. Either wear proper clothing, like the rest of us around the house, or get some sort of sticky covering to keep your “rolling hairballs” closer to you. If not, we (the others in the house) may start gluing the individual hairs back in place. Should keep us all busy until spring.
I don’t ask to share yhur food supply. Do you see where this is going?
An apology, from me, for playing those coyote call videos. I didn’t realize that you expected more than a soundtrack.
