Hiding your riches under a basket might work
How many people do you need to grow money? Curious question, perhaps, but after reading the latest tidbits from the agency that “takes care” of my pension fund, I’m in the need to know. Over the last few years, investment funds have not been very efficient at the only task on their to do list. Oddly enough, despite the large number of professionals that dedicate their days to the job at hand, the percentage of return has been in the negative percentage range.
The man at the top plans to cut expenses in the agency; his goal is to trim $20 million from the cost column. With 800 employees, and no projected salary reduction, that will mean using a lot less paper and paperclips. Oh, in passing, the “team” (4 people) at the very top of the organigramme shared a cool $1 million in bonus monies last year. Above their comfortable salary range. Extra cream in the coffee cup.
Like many others in the financial sector, the bonus mentality is explained as necessary, to keep those talented individuals on your team. OK then, here’s my suggestion (and I want my bonus, in return). Find a large mattress and hide the invested money underneath. You won’t do any worse than the negative achievements from last year, and with my money safe from the shrinkage you’re showing now, you’ll be able to afford bonus payments. Just a thought.
Today I decided to make the official request for son #3 to have what is known as a Certificate of Eligibility. Here in Quebec, the right to study in English is tied to your genealogy, and requires careful study by a team of government specialists. Turns out that a valid passport is not an acceptable form of identification before such diligence.
