On the dynamics of gift exchange
Here we are, on the greatest gift exchange holiday of the year. Without any consideration of the religious aspects (and yes, I did worship in a public place with others of my clan), the simple fact is that we’ve just about completed the best shopping season of the year. Without it, many stores would be recycled into… In fact, I have no idea.
A number of people have mentioned the variations on gift exchange, and I have found it interested. Let’s consider this from a number of points of view. For a start, assume you live alone. You can actually turn this into a complete case of reciprocity. You give yourself a gift, and you receive on at the same time. Socially detached, but the gift exchange portion is complete.
We’ll now move on to a pair. You exchange gifts with one another, and all parties are potentially happy. Unless, as it sometimes happens, one of the pair forgets to shop. Or worse, buy something that is deemed completely unsuitable by the other. Life in a couple can be strenuous.
I belong to a large, generous social circle. None have the means to blanket the others with gold, frankinsense or myrhh, so other models have to be decided upon. Remember the factorial thing we studied in math class: !5=5x4x3x2x1=120 Great for the merchant class, less so for anyone that must respect a budget. Let’s consider alternative models for the exchange.
We often use the “pick any name from the group excepting your own” which requires some coordination. The names in the draw pot have to appear once and only once; you’re not voting for the best recipient. Last evening, we heard about one individual (now a professional chaplain) from a large family, who carefully seeded the pot with nothing but his own name. All of the participants were required to neither discuss nor show the drawn name to anyone else. On the morning of gift exchange, the jackpot left him in a less than enviable postion. Lots of gifts, lots of anger. His retort was that it was obviously better to give than to receive…
