Proof that I am still valued
The combination of youth, location and interest mean that my siblings are social animals, compared with me. I rarely call back to the mothership, but when I do, someone is off, somewhere, doing something.
Please, don’t assume that I want to change my own lifestyle. Just take this as proof that some things are not genetic. If I had remained in their orbit, it might be diffeent, but I have been away for a very long time.
Here’s an example. I remember a birthday. Not lavish, but I did go “out”. That was fifty years ago. Marked me enough that I didn’t pause the clock, for a do over. Is that possible? In any case, I know that some of those people who helped me celebrate are no more. I guess that this wasn’t a path to immortality.
Even earlier, I have seen pictures of myself at a birthday party. My hair was much shorter, and I look so young. Once again, simply going to a party doesn’t make you immune to age progression. I will check with a few other people, beyond the immediate family members. See if “party hearty” made a difference.
I’m not looking to live forever. Too many hidden costs. I just want to assure (myself) that a missed moment of hedonism wasn’t that big a deal. Allow myself to sleep without dreams of a world I can’t revisit.
I did receive my annual request for a gift (an alumi moment), so I have proof that I am still valuable to someone. The more money, the more valuable, I suspect.
