Remembering the five cent bar
I’m trying to reconcile my desire to “own” stuff with an allergy to the “fair market value” model. It’s easy to explain with an example; I can remember the five cent chocolate bar.
Let’s assume that I get a bright idea. Something along the line where I’d like to have the gear necessary to take my (non-existent) band on the road, complete with instruments, amplifiers, microphones, flashing lights and a roadie (because I’m getting to be too old to drag all that stuff out to the van, and the kids don’t really want to join my band.) All is clear in my mind, and then comes sticker shock.
Everything seems to cost more than I want to spend. Thankfully there’s eBay, where I can find exactly the piece of gear I imagine to be the best fit for the job at hand, and the prices are somewhat lower than “suggested list price” although “fair market value” remains open for conjecture. And there’s the other little bit of grit in my gears; I remember lots of equipment manufacturers and their respective reps. Unfortunately the particular products haven’t been in the catalogue for about thirty years. Hence eBay.
I will soon be able to take my (non-existent) band on the road, and we will look like a time machine had dropped us on the stage, complete with old hair and clothes. Maybe Hollywood needs us, but the musical world has moved on; what’s an old rocker to do?
And back to the price of stuff. How in the world do bands ever afford to get onstage? Even something as simple as a microphone stand is worth WAY more than I want to pay. Multiply the stand count by several, factor in shipping and handling by anyone other than UPS and we’ve already spent the lavish advance that some record company is ready to send my way.
I’m back to calculating how I can make a mic stand out of PVC pipe, carefully cut with a table knife and glued into something robust. At least I’ll be able to carry it out without my (non-existent) roadie. I can see it now – Jackson Browne singing “The Load Out” while I move my PVC sound system from the stage. Should be worth a few shots in my article in Rolling Stone. Did I mention “cheap?
