Reverse marketing psychology
Spoiled, that’s what you kids are. Why, in my day we had a metal tub that was filled with water heated on the back of a stove, and we took turns. We weren’t too big, or too dirty, so the system worked. Now, you have a shower! Not just a garden hose that you run back and forth under. A shower. We (the loving, caring parents) have even added a new head, just for your water-wasting pleasure.
That’s not the speech that was given at our house, but the temptation was strong. In a fit of last minute shopping we had sprinted in to the Cannie Tire store as the lights were dimming, ran for the appropriate section (good thing we learned to read along the way) and through a remarkable team effort that involved echolocation and references to Marco Polo, we (the shopping squad) located a new “pomme” as they’re known colloquially. Then, through the cash lineup and out to the car. Total elapsed time: under four minutes. A new record. A single record, since no other one existed.
Home plumbing is so easy. No need for the tricky teflon tape, although I had a roll ready for action. No need for sophisticated tools, when a pair (one is a pair) of Vise-Grips were close at hand. No muss, no fuss. A new shower head, even if the old one worked just fine. Proof: why would certain members of the family require twelve to fifteen minutes of running water unless they were very dirty or in love with the massage provided by a combination of heat, gravity and city water pressure.
Of course, late this afternoon we learned that there are “better” shower heads available. An expert in marketing explained this, although I didn’t follow too well. Distracted by the word “better”. Had we mistakenly purchased the wrong model? Would I have to reverse engineer my latest plumbing challenge and then find the way back to the store for a refund or exchange? Where would I find the necessary receipts?
It seems that nothing I can do will guarantee my acquiring the “best one”. Be it ice cream, computer software, shower heads. I’m doomed. But there might be a hidden side to all of this. If I can “market” the poor choice to the waterwizards, maybe there’ll be some warm water for me in the morning. After all, why would they want to take a long shower under the wrong purchase. Maybe I can use reverse marketing psychology.
