Finished product may vary slightly
The retail world has a lot of tricks up its sleeve, and one of the better ones is to sell you furniture in a box. Always check for the really tiny print: Some assembly required. Or in a paraphrase: Finished product may vary slightly from the illustration. Believe me, there is no lie being told.
We have been living with a set of huge brown boxes for the last few days. Our patio project hit a few bumps in the woodstain department, when periods of rain turned into rain for long periods. But, all the clouds went away, and with some strong artificial lighting and a spouse with stamina, the paint brushes have been all put away for a short while. Today was assembly time.
A gazebo is much larger than the image in the side mirrors. In fact, even with a step ladder and a period of stretching, it took the better part of the afternoon to build a metal framework. Multiple length bolts, holes that were pre-drilled by a Chinese factory worker with a strange sense of humour, sun that seemed to always be in my eyes. Best of all, instructions that were blurred. I’d blame it on the glare of the sun, except that when I went indoors, the optical illusion continued.
Thankfully, we’d seen the same model preassembled in our local hardware store. We should have known that they would be able to complete the assembly; after all, with a full hardware store of parts and tools, how could they miss? Our personal gazebo is standing, and as long as the winds don’t blow too hard, we’re in business. Remember the story of The Three Little Pigs? They didn’t choose a construction method that involved green-painted steel and canvas which was a “close fit”. Ever wonder why?
The walls of bug netting and canvas hangcloths is also in place on several of the sides. There are limits to how long one can stand with their arms over their heads. The furniture is in place, and I heard a rumour that someone may sleep outside on the hammock. If he makes it through the night (very short at this time of the year) I will declare our project a success.
