13th September 2010

Don’t grow on trees

posted in politics |

No time to waste. Get your silly request for funding into the hands of the local MP before the election is called.

The population is easily excited. Put some obscure politicians into old hockey jerseys, and people believe that fiscal responsibility will be waived. A new arena, worth more money than I can count? No problem; the rumour is that it will be funded. Just like the Tooth Fairy – magical money that comes from elsewhere and makes your dream of another hockey team seem possible.

Here’s another approach. Let the people vote, and sign their ballots. Then, those that want the new arena can dig into each of their pockets in turn. Pull some pennies from the municipal pocket, and the provincial pocket, and the federal pocket. Let’s see… a city of 700,000. Take 1 and carry 3; at a guess 500,000 people in favour. Subtract the youth vote (they can’t vote, so it’s an easy count). We’re now down to a more realistic 400,000.

There, easy solution. Everyone in favour will contribute $1000, cash on the counter. Leave the rest of the city alone. You will now own an arena that holds 20,000. You can fight for your seat. Elbowing permitted.

All of a sudden, the dream seems less possible. Kind of like the tooth collector, after you’re relegated to gumming. Today, the prime minister mentioned that hockey arenas were a wonderful thing, but his fiscally responsible party (choke, mutter) wouldn’t guarantee anything. Something about a deficit.

The mayor will continue to promise expensive toys for as long as we’re stuck with him, but I wouldn’t lace up my skates just yet. Arenas, like teeth, don’t exactly grow on trees, despite the tall tale about Washington.

This entry was posted on Monday, September 13th, 2010 at 19:56 and is filed under politics. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. | 283 words. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

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