Thou shalt not smile, smirk, grin or otherwise appear to be alive and kicking
When I was young enough to care about such things, there was a standard for a bad photographic portrait of someone. The stamp of disapproval was simply telling the person that “it looks as bad as a passport picture”. Let’s face it; how many of us want to look like those tiny grayscale renditions that governments use to identify their citizens?
Well, times have changed. Now, the passport picture is supposed to be awful. Reading the rules for a Canadian version leave little wiggle room:
- Applicant must show a neutral facial expression (no smiling, mouth closed) and look straight at the camera.
- Eyes must be open and clearly visible. Glasses, including tinted prescription glasses, are acceptable as long as the eyes are clearly visible and there is no glare in the glasses. Sunglasses and red eyes are unacceptable.
The US version doesn’t tell you to put on an ugly, but they do like the result to be in colour. Go figure.
The British rules are an amalgam:
- show you with a neutral expression and your mouth closed (no grinning, frowning or raised eyebrows)
- show you on your own (babies should not have toys or a dummy, and there shouldn’t be other people in the photo)
- be in colour, not black and white
- No “red eye” is permitted.
And the French have fewer defined ideas on the appearance, except that glasses are “interdit”. If you can’t see the photographer, tough.
In fact, this whole business has become serious stuff, around the world, due to the new science of biometrics. The goal, from what I could infer, is that your picture will be computerized, and from then on you will never be an invisble stranger again. Every closed-circuit camera could, potentially, be looking you up in a database. “The better to see you”, as Grande-mère told Little Red Riding Hood.
I am not afraid. I haven’t willingly smiled in a picture for years now, and my family is convinced that my natural expression borders on angry. When I finally decide to travel for fun and profit, the passport will be the least of the world’s worries.
