And on the seventh day, you shall be poorer while you rest
The rule of thumb for our pandemic is clear; don’t get sick. Makes sense to me. After all, the flu isn’t supposed to be fun. No malingering allowed. Keep your hands clean. Cough somewhere else.
We had a departmental meeting this afternoon, to outline the plan for the pandemic. Don’t get sick. That’s it. I work in the educational sector, and we know that our days are numbered. We just didn’t know how. Here’s the deal: our collective agreement has a certain number of “sick days” built into the budget rules. The magic seven, with no starting over and no free get out of jail. In a given fiscal year, the average employee will find that to be an insufficient but acceptable time to allow for recovery from the average aches and pains of life in the fast lane.
However, H1N1 wasn’t on the radar when the agreement was signed on the dotted lines. Now we have an additional directive. If you show signs of the dreaded swine flu, you shall voluntarily quarantine yourself for no less than seven days. If you’ve already had the misfortune to be ill with any of the other gazillion illnesses that abound (or should you fail later in the year), then you will stay home without any sort of financial parachute. Hard landing isn’t counted as illness.
Here is the list of symptoms:
- fever
- coughing
- headaches
- muscle or joint pain
- sore throat
- chills
- fatigue
- runny nose
- diarrhea and vomiting (in some cases)
The question was asked, of course. Will there be any additional budget forthcoming to cover this unexpected blow to our collective wellness? The answer is that there already had been, and it was spent to produce those blurry posters listing the symptoms and how to cough into your elbow. Hurrah! Oh, and you don’t have to have all the symptoms; three of the above wins the stay at home lottery. Sort of like a slot machine with three lemons showing.
