One more reason to avoid travel
How can anyone be bored, when there are so many fascinating things to discover? Seriously, we live in a world where Wikipedia can give you random facts for the day, and where an astonishing array of government documents and forms can provide some of the finest puzzles ever created. In fact, forget Gordian knots and Mynoan mazes; let’s just spend a little time looking at something as simple as international travel regulations. I’ve got that “centre of the universe” mentality that marks me as a Canadian, so your mileage/kilometrage might vary.
I don’t currently possess a passport, which is one of those documents that might lead me to buying a suitcase and then taking off my shoes in a very public place. But, if ever I did decide to prove my citizen status before the rest of the world, I’d foreswear the maple lead tattoo on my upper arm (near the vaccination scar) and opt for official papers. Then, when the border guard said “Papers please” with the tone made famous in hundreds of bad movies, I’d be prepared.
The local provincial government has recently thrown an extra puck onto the ice, with the creation of a Plus! class of driver permit, so I decided to check out the costs, with comparison of rights, between the new super high tech photo ID and a standard, paper passport. First of all, nothing is free. Everyone in the game wants your picture (for their album, I imagine), so be prepared to hand over $15 to the local pharmacy, where the kid with the Polaroid does his best Ansel Adams impression. Get as many copies as possible, because you might need them some other day.
Next, get a copy of your birth certificate. A note from your mother doesn’t count. I’ve had one for years and years; it was even lost in a snowstorm, and when I showed up at the Vital Statistics to purchase a replacement, the lady simply returned mine, which someone else (who didn’t have the same name) had handed in. Good citizen. Lucky me.
A standard Canadian passport will cost you either $87 or $92, depending on the number of empty pages you want to have sewn into your little blue booklet. Be prepared to wait for a long time for the precious document to be delivered. Don’t lose it, or let some miscreant steal it, or allow the dog to use it as dental floss. This is the key to international travel, meaning more than Florida.
The alternate possiblity is to opt for the new Plus! permit available in a number of regional offices around Quebec. The plus signifies that you can go to Florida (and the surrounding states), but no other country will accept it as proof of anything. The cost is somewhat lower, $51.97, and you need to provide the same birth certificate and photos of “the man that never smiles”. The ancillary cost is equivalent. This new electronic wonder contains RFID technology, so you could be mistaked for a pallet of laundry soap in your local Walmart, but that’s also a plus, right?
I’ve done my math, and the right to travel could cost me well over my allotted budget for frivolous purchases for this week.
