An ersatz donair to get through a long winter
With a full five months to go before vacation, the need for a real donair is increasing. I found myself trying to describe the form and texture and flavour to my seatmate on the bus this morning, but even my enthusiastic rambling doesn’t do justice to what should be marketed as the “real” cultural food of the Maritimes. Forget salt fish and blue potatoes.
I’m surprised that some entrepreneur hasn’t expanded into the uncharted territory of Quebec. After all, you can find beans with maple syrup, or the “oreilles de crisse”. I don’t know what would count as a translation of donair, but the shipping time from the factory near Moncton where meat is prepared for the dozens (nay, hundreds) of regional sales points in the East wouldn’t be excessive. Canned milk companies would have a new area for increased sales. It would be a win/win situation. While the business minds of the Atlantic put together the prospectus, here’s my take on home made donairs. Not exactly “genuine”, but close enough for the winter blues. You can guess how I’ll be spending the weekend.
First, the sauce. This is best prepared in small quantities (calorie levels are off the chart). Get some icing sugar (Lantic brand preferred), some fine garlic powder, a small quantity of white vinegar and a can of condensed milk (not evaporated). Mix equal quantities of sugar and milk until creamy, add a small amount of garlic powder (you’re not chasing vampires) and then put in a couple of teaspoons of vinegar to permit the miracle of the sauce to occur. Set in the refrigerator to cool.
I’ve had reasonable success with home production of the meat. Mix some good quality ground beef with breadcrumbs and pass the mixture through a kitchen robot to get something resembling sausage filling. Spice it up: curry powder, chili powder, pepper. Whatever your stomach can bear. Form small loaves (think flattened cannonballs) and bake them at about 300F in the oven for a while. The goat is to cook the loaf, not to to serve “steak tartare”. Don’t fret too much, as the resulting meat will be recooked. Cool the loaf so that it can be easily sliced with a sabre.
When the time comes to serve your donair, prepare some chopped onions and diced tomatoes as condiments. Slice some pieces of meat (similar dimensions to slices of bacon) and fry them in an open pan. On top of the meat, place a round of Greek pita bread that has been wetted on one side and heat everything for a minute or so. Spread the bread on a square of aluminum foil, place the slices of meat and some onion-tomato mix on top and then add your donair sauce. Wrap it into something suitable for holding in your hand and eat. Use your imagination. Here is a picture to lead you to nirvana.
