14th April 2020

Sorry. Video unavailable.

posted in humour |

There is no video footage (more the pity), but the BBQ is out. I’m very systematic about the job, as a solo artist.

First, I’ve learned that half a BBQ weighs about half as much as a full BBQ  (85Kg). Keen scientific process. Since I did the original assembly on our beast, when it came home from the box store, I know exactly where the critical points lie. Pull the cotter pins, pull the hinge pins, lift the upper half away. Remove, (carefully), the two grill surfaces from inside the body. These will make a mess, both of surfaces and toes, so take your time. Cut the gas cylinder free from underneath (not cut, literally; it has a proper screw fastener for the hose). With all the loose pieces sent outside to the deck, we can get on with the heavy lifting.

Remember, this is a solo dance, so I lift the leading edge, up onto a step. Then, with some careful  strategy, bring the rear edge up to the same level and push everything through the breech (the doorway into the house). I don’t want to actually lift the BBQ from ground level to above my head, and so taking an alternate path through the kitchen and dining room makes the whole task seem easier, albeit longer.

Once the awkward move is complete, reassemble the grills, cover, gas tank, etc. Use liberal amounts (rather than conservative) of duct tape to seal the holes that have appeared in the cover cloth. I didn’t know there were BBQ moths. After closing all the doors I have propped open, and moving the kitchen table back, I can confirm that my BBQ is ready to confront long hours of cookery. Now if we can just keep the mosquitoes at bay.

 

This entry was posted on Tuesday, April 14th, 2020 at 18:14 and is filed under humour. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. | 294 words. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

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