7th November 2024

He’s back

I think you know the drill. That next door neighbour who moved away five years ago is back. You were convinced that he had gone on to do other things but he liked that house and so at the first opportunity he was back in hanging his gaudy curtains and putting his junk around the place. Seriously doesn’t he have something better to do with his life. Like playing golf or insulting people. But no, he is back and from what I hear he has a few access to grant. Without the necessary grinding wheel. I hope he doesn’t take up axe throwing as a new hobby. I really expected him to build a wall around the place at least on one side and they also expected him to find some new friends. Most of them have gone on to better things. Like prison. But the neighbourhood is getting ready for the side show. It would be great to say that we know what to expect, but we do not. Maybe he has learned a few new ways to insult people while he was away. And what if he dies in his sleep. Who gets to clean up that mess. When they say that the neighbourhood has gone to ruin this may be the most correct statement you can make. I am not going to raise a flag in his honour or mine. I will try not to play loud music when I know that he is home from the golf course. No sense attracting attention to myself. And if the prices at the local grocery store go up I will know who to blame. This is a thinly veiled analogy because I am sure that you know what I mean. The best we can hope for, is that he will not bring war down on our backyard. Or cause the rest of us to fade into bankruptcy. He knows how that works. And I hear that he does not like dogs. No matter because my house is currently dog-less but if I change my mind do I have to get the neighbour involved in my decision process. Maybe something small and discreet.

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