TubaOrNotTuba

The premise was to talk about the best job I ever had. I’m gonna take a right turn on that one and go for the best job I never had. When you were young you apply for jobs without fully understanding what is involved. I was in high school and someone mentioned that the local pop company was looking for people to ride on their trucks. This was in the time when soda pop was delivered in glass bottles in wooden crates. Two dozen bottles to the crate as I remember. And the job for the guy on the delivery truck was to get those boxes off and back on again full and empty. I can only guess how much a full creative pop actually weighed. My own impression was that the people who did this for a summer ended up going out for the football team because they were suddenly much stronger than anyone else around them. Also I had this illusion that you got to drink all the pop you wanted. I never got the job so it still remains as an illusion. No big muscles and no lasting effects of drinking too much warm soda as the truck bounced up and down the city streets. I am guessing that you remained capable of burping better than anyone else around you. Jobs like that did not pay much. Minimum wage was still a dream so you were likely to get whatever the company imagined it could pay to the stupid child looking for a job. I did notice later in life that there are very few people who stay in that occupation for very long. I made it out without the lasting effects. I found other things to do. But I realized looking back that sometimes not getting a job is the best thing that can happen to a young person. Did I have other jobs when I was in high school? Not really. I did a lot of babysitting because I came from a large family. And I learned that your pennies needed to be counted if only to make sure you had enough to buy a single bottle of pop when you made it to the store. I could probably do the calculation knowing that the average pop bottle contained about 350 grams of liquid and the glass made that much again and then you multiply. But the truth is that on a hot summer day those crates weighed far more than you would want to lift by choice. And remembering the format used by delivery trucks you spend a lot of time lifting the crate over your head. That could leave you crippled for life.

Some things are in the eye of the beholder as I say. From my experience landforms fit into this. I live in a province that has no mountains. In fact we rarely get around to using the term hill. Flatland. But there are several places in the province that have names that reflect mountains. Are these simply memories of the people that moved there because they do not qualify in terms of topography. We found the same thing to be true in the second province that I lived in. They had bigger hills. A lot of them. And one close to town was actually called a mount and it probably was substantial to anyone with a horse and cart. But not a true mount. You would not go there to ski nor would you go there to climb with ropes. Just a hill that you could walk up even on the hottest summer day. In my third province there were hills in town. More than a kilometre from top to bottom. And like elsewhere all of those hills had names. Oddly they just called them the hills. And if you had to go up on a summer day on a bicycle you would be grumbling and mumbling under your breath but you would always make it to the top and you would always make it back down. I’ve lived in other places that had true mountains. Nothing to rival the Rockies or there height but true mountains just the same. And the names gave hints but you needed to find a true topographical map to get the statistics. Right now I have the opposite condition. A lot of small ponds that have been given the name of lakes. Not deep or wide or long but more than a puddle. In truth the majority are actually saltwater lagoons. I will be keeping an eye out in future for the veracity of places’ names. Too much room for exaggeration on the part of those who dropped the titles on the map. We have no large forests. No large trees anymore. But I will be watching. The next time that somebody tells me about a giant tree I will be credulous. Or is it incredulous. I must sort that out.

Take your new stories as they come. Today, or yesterday, this country received a new Prime Minister period. Designate. He is not being sworn in and might not be. That’s how we do things up here in Canada with a total lack of clarity. And for those of you who are outside the country being the Prime Minister is not the same as being the President or the King or any of those other really good jobs. This is a chance to be abused by your peers. For years. A chance to get a private car that only takes you where the others want to go. So where does this leave us? Apparently we will have an election. Or actually hundreds of them because again this is Canada. Soon but the date is not yet chosen at least not publicly. And when they finally get around to announcing the election campaign we will spend far too much money on advertising. Our way of showing up the failing resource is of the media world. I have no choice but to watch it. I am a member of a captive audience. Besides it could be fun. Once in a while the insults rise above the innocent mundane level used in Canadian politics from time to time. My favourite through the years? Selective deafness. You can look it up. And since the House of Commons is in recess for another few weeks. Take that as you will. By the time it all gets sorted out the interest of the public will have moved on to something else. Canadian politics is so polite. It also keeps those across the border from really understanding what is going on. The title Governor Trudeau is already too old to matter. I didn’t even get a hat or a T-shirt. I do need some new T-shirts but the hat leaves me indifferent. I also, will have to check in with the children to see that they are awake and paying attention. Hate for them to miss the most interesting time of the year. Maybe they need a new hat. Or a lawn sign. Something to keep as a family memory.

I have been fortunate during my life to do some things that are a little out of the ordinary. One of my proudest periods was when I was a member of the mice that lived in the pit. That is, the group of musicians who sat in front of a stage or below it and provided the sound for an ongoing show. Think Broadway musicals because that is the way that I look at it. I was in the pit for either four or five different shows my memory grows dim for some of it. It takes a long time to get a show from let’s do all the way to bring down the curtain. Months of practice with musicians that may or may not be familiar with the task at hand. Now usually I was in the percussion chair which meant that I had lots of toys to play with and lots of time to count measures. There is nothing worse than tacet at 100. The usual scenario was that you would get chosen to be a member of the pit and then you have practice all the time I hate to say every day but it felt like it and the worst were the sectionals when you sat down and played along for one part of the show with one group of instruments. Looking at you clarinets. And then as we get closer to the counter being done we would prepare for our time to shine. Not that anyone could see us because we were in the pit. I never had to learn a dance step or sing along with others. I could just bang on my drum or play with my base or play the flute. I would love to try some of these things again because there is a sense of comradeship that grows among those who live in the pit we have seen the worst that theatre arts has to offer. There are a lot of people who think they can sing and dance but who fall short of the edge. In the worst cases they would literally fall into the pit with us although that did not happen often. The tunes as we call them stay with you for the rest of your life I cannot hear the opening bars of any of those shows without having them come back to mind in their entirety. Yes I know the words even though I never had to sing them. Therein lies the true fate of the members of a pit orchestra. We know all the lines there it ever ever having to save them.

I think the point is to maintain your brain in a state of being alert. In other words do not sleep your way through life. However getting exercise for your brain is really rather simple. Go and study something that you do not already know about. This morning I watched some videos on the breaking systems used on railway trains. Air mainly but there is some mechanical involved and the reality is that I do not have a real car to go out and poke around and see for myself. If I want to understand the principles I have to find a simulation of some sort. I have basic familiarity with the systems. I have watched trainman tie break lines together for most of my life. Old technology that is still in use. And of course there have been improvements overtime. That is a positive thing. I can remember watching old movies where someone jumped up on top of a box car and rotated a large hand wheel until brakes came on or came off. Those systems still exist I believe. But we now have things that are better. Computerized. Able to compare air pressures all by themselves. To be sure this kind of thing is important in the real world. Last year we visited the site of a rail disaster. One that came about because the train was parked on a very slight grade and someone did not set F is sufficient number of handbrakes. The train got away and crashed and burned. Not a good thing for anyone involved and the reason why we have a memorial site is that it affected greatly a small town. No need to name names. Just take it from me these systems are still used and learning even a minimum about them is a good idea. I will never run a train but I feel better knowing the why of things. Part of being educated. And to reassure you I have no intentions of going out and trying something dangerous. You can go back to sleep now.

I should have paid better attention during the political science classes. You know, the ones I never took. I am now faced with trying to decode what is going on in the world. I am making very slow progress through the mud. For the last few minutes I have been listening to an interview with a Nobel Peace Prize laureate. Trying to explain the current situation. More mud. I lack the foundations to understand the current world situation. I should also have taken a few history classes but that is a subject for another day. What I am learning is that there is no clear answer. For anyone. All of the pundits are left trying to make sense of a world that is turning upside down. For the record that little skirmish with the South of us that is supposed to lead to tariffs being put in place is back on hold. And the situation in northern Europe is that a stalemate sort of. Please do not turn your attention to the Middle East. All confusing. In fact it probably would be easier to try and explain a hockey game where at least there is a puck on the ice. I will continue to watch. With great bewilderment. I had been told in my earlier years that if you studied history it could help to avoid stupidity. Even that no longer is true. I should probably dig a hole and pull it on the top of myself. A cheap form of protection. I am of course uninterested in hole digging so I will sit back and wait for things to evolve. Someone said that all things will pass. I should probably look up that quote to see how it turned out. Meanwhile I will wait for the next government change in my own country. It turns out that our long term federal MP has retired and I want to know who intends to take his place. Spoiler alert. Not me. I hate getting dressed up in a suit. And I understand that the suits that sit beside me are also uncomfortable. I actually miss the days when I could sit back with a good fiction book and go all the way to the end of the story. Now I have to watch reality unspool. If you have ever worked with reels of film you know that getting things back in order can be done but it takes a lot of time and patience.

The building is still there, I think. It became a car dealership or something similar. But for a couple of years it was the most dangerous building in the city. Nothing to do with explosives. This was our roller rink. Now in the beginning we all believed we could handle this. We were Canadian and we understood skating on ice. This was a little different. Really fancy boots with wheels on the bottom. We would go to this location and we would skate around in circles to a soundtrack. Worthy of a movie I think because none of us were good at what we did. The real challenge was to try not to fall on your head. This was before the days of helmets unfortunately there are no recorded deaths. Just a few arms. I was there one afternoon that happened. We had taken two school buses full of people with no experience brought them in put skates on their feet and turn them loose for an hour or two period of course someone had to fall. We all knew that you could skate much faster if you joined hands and then snap the whip. Someone did. The contact between cement and young bodies can lead to carnage. Or broken arms. Your choice. I do not know if the current generation understands how dangerous life was back in the 80s. We had to copy the fads that came from the United states. Go ahead. Ask your parents if they remember disco. Their response should tell you all you need to know. Some things are best left on the other side of the border. Speaking of disco we had dance clubs in the city centre. The floor had flashing lights and the soundtrack was equally loud compared to the roller rink. Same people. Less acceleration. The slow dance rarely leads to sudden death by falling. All of this is now part of my past.

I think that being famous is overrated. In a world where things are transactional I have met very few truly famous people. Unless of course they were in disguise. I have met no Prime Minister or member of the royal family or even a famous politician or musician or athlete. Wait, there was that one time when Gordie Howe gave me an autograph. But he didn’t know my name and I had to be told his so it really was nothing. As for famous musicians, none have ever come to my door and my door was always open to them if they had. Perhaps I am just an unknown. Although I would like if you ever meet a famous whoever that you check to see if they know me. Coming at it from the other direction if you will. What does really show is that I am not likely to be invited to see the man who is richer or the man who is famous or the man who has done more for humanity than anyone else. Do they realize what they’re missing? I have however been to a few places where things are famous. I saw those faces carved into a mountainside and I saw a large ship go by in the night. Those count for something. And once I saw a famous airplane. You see we all pick our moments and our places to be. Never underestimate what you have accomplished. And I have read books and seen movies and listened to recorded music that involved people who have achieved their moment in the sun. We cannot choose where we will go in our lives. Wait. I can choose where I will go. I just will keep that limited. A factor of time and budget. And maybe, tomorrow someone will come by just after the moment they become famous. I will hold that in anticipation. 

Not having much money is actually a good thing. Very few scammers are out to empty my bank account. And I will not be buying a fancy electric car that I would never drive. Ever since our national government placed a retaliatory tariff against that car company this morning the price just doubled. I am watching the news to find out how people react to the silly moves made by various governments. Our neighbors to the South are in full mode of running a clown show by placing tariffs on things they need. Only if bought from this country. Go figure. I mean, I have. If you suddenly make the price of essential items rise only two make your own country richer you depend upon people buying those goods in your country. Hence my mirth at the idea of my buying a fancy car. The tariffs have been in place since midnight and so far I have not paid any mind. Most days I spend near nothing so I am not going to be affected short term. If I decide to go out and buy a ton of aluminum, on a whim, I will have to find a way to spend more money. Oh wait, that doesn’t affect me because I live on the right side of that imaginary line. But somebody must be going to pay them; else why all the wringing of hands and clutching of pearls. Yes I know the economic pressures are bad for all involved but I will have to wait to see just how much of an effect this whole thing is going to have on anyone other than those with a lot of money invested in stocks and bonds. They’re already feeling the pain. Will this push the world to war? Or turn the whole system upside down with a deep seated depression? Actually the depression will be felt by those who pay attention and I think you can get stuff from the pharmacist to take care of that too. But I do not speak from a place of deep experience by virtue of being too poor to care.

This may seem like a painful exercise but you need to do it from time to time. Seek out speeches by your politicians. Try to determine how long it takes before the speaker does a loop. Public speaking is a talent and not every politician is talented. Someone explains to the politician that he must speak for a given amount of time for appearances. And when you only have a short message the tendency is to loop. If that loop is extremely short everyone will notice. Extended by only a few phrases and you can fool the simple persons in your audience. Remember back to when you had to give a speech in school. Most of us never made it beyond a couple of sentences scrolled on a crib sheet. We found it fulfilling to stay on stage for as long as possible even when we had nothing to say. That rule applies equally to politicians. I listened to a curated speech given by one of the candidates to be Prime Minister. It did not go well. The person in charge of the podcast was quick to point out then a phrase repeated over and over again does not make that phrase better. I have another example. We have someone else who wants to be Prime Minister and that person has reduced the message to three words. When the underlying policy changed the speech did not. Proof that the politician does not always listen to what they’re saying. Just saying. Keep an eye on them as we move into election season. See if you can spot the inconsistencies that are required to keep the train of thought going. Like a real train it requires fuel. When you run out of fuel your train will roll to a stop. With it your hold on the attention of your audience. Try to find a politician that has a true message for your own sanity.